A Love Lost and Refound?
by Eowyn6
Summary: The flame of hatred between Severus Snape and Sirius Black is rekindled when the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher arrives at Hogwarts. Pairing: Severus Snape / OFC (no Mary Sue!!!). Chapter 13 added, please review.
1. The Return to Hogwarts

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 1 - The Return to Hogwarts.  
  
When Setha saw the old, familiar spikes and towers of Hogwarts, she was overwhelmed by memories half forgotten. Here she had spent seven happy years, here she had found love, everlasting, yet hopeless love. This love was one reason for the fact that she still looked like a 25-year-old woman. She hadn't changed a bit over the past 20 years. This was partly due to her secret work on the Philosopher's Stone, which she had finally been able to produce. But the main reason was a curse that had been put on her. Age would not be able to touch her until she was truly happy . with the man she loved more than life itself. But this was impossible. He did not exist anymore. He had changed into an evil force. Or had she only imagined that he had a good side?  
  
Unable to die of natural causes she had gone out into the world seeking death. For years she had been working for the Ministry of Magic as an auror. She had caught many death-eaters, but had never been found out by those supporters of Voldemort who remain outside Azkaban. The only way to kill her seemed to be the killing curse - Avada Kedavra - yet no one had been able to perform it.  
  
Setha had been in Gryffindor. She had come to Hogwarts with her childhood friend James Potter. On the Hogwarts Express they had met two other boys, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. They had been friends from the first day. She had also been the friend of the girl, who one day would be the world to James. Lily had come out of a muggle family and was thrilled to find that there was another world to be explored - her true world. And then there was this boy from Slytherin. Everyone hated him, but Setha seemed to understand what he was really like. Behind the backs of her Gryffindor friends she had met with the Slytherin boy, had helped him with his transfiguration homework and finally taught him how to become an Animagus. Like James, Sirius . and Peter Pettigrew . she had realized that Remus was in fact a werewolf. And like them she tried to become an animal. But she was able to transform into more than one animal. Normally she would become into a swan . Swany was born. The Slytherin boy could also transform into a bird . an eagle. No one ever knew about him, no one apart from Setha.  
  
In their fifth year, Setha realized that she was in love . in love with a Slytherin! There was no way of telling her best friends. And there was no way she could see that one of her friends was falling for her as well. Yet this friend destroyed all her hopes of a future with her Slytherin love. In their last year at Hogwarts something happened that crushed all her dreams. The man she loved turned away from her . and became a snake. The eagle was dead for now jealousy controlled him.  
  
When she had lost him, she found, for a short time, consolation in the arms of one of her Gryffindor friends. But she couldn't see it through. She had accepted his proposal to marry him, but her heart still belonged to another. So she had ended the relationship. Her friend, mad with grief cursed her.  
  
Now all this came back to her like a flood. What was she doing here? Why had she accepted to come back to Hogwarts after all these long years? Dumbledore, the answer was so simple. Dumbledore had asked her to come to Hogwarts to secure the safety of the students. She had accepted to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts . she would teach her students how to fight simple curses, the older ones would have to be able to evade even the Impirius Curse, and to tell a death-eater from a normal witch or wizard.  
  
So, she came back. She came back to find an almost deserted Slytherin house, to face constant fear of Lord Voldemort, and to see the man she loved again. 


	2. The Banquet

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 2 - The Banquet.  
  
Harry, Hermione and Ron entered the Great Hall, dreading to find out that Snape had been made Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. They knew that he had been after this subject for years, and after Moody, or rather Barty Crouch, and the re-birth of Voldemort, who'd be willing to come to Hogwarts? They were glad when they saw Snape in his usual seat, staring around the hall with an expression that suggested that for him Christmas had been cancelled. Next to Dumbledore sat a young witch with fiery red hair. She wore a long, purple robe, which, as Hermione remarked, looked absolutely stunning and rather expensive. To Harry's and Ron's distress, Hermione had developed a rather sick interest in the latest fashion.  
  
The young witch spoke quietly to Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall. Was she the new Defence teacher? When Harry saw how Snape eyed her, he was sure she was. But wait; there was no hatred or loathing in his eyes. No. He seemed to be rather distressed, shocked, and . Harry couldn't believe his eyes . but Snape seemed to be . sad.  
  
The Sorting of the first years was about to take place and when Harry looked around the hall he could see that the Slytherin table was almost completely deserted. Unfortunately only almost . his archenemy Draco Malfoy and his cronies Crabbe and Goyle where still at Hogwarts. Before Harry could point this out to Ron and Hermione, Professor Dumbledore got to his feet and began his usual begin-of-term speech.  
  
"Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts. I'm happy to announce that we have found a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Please welcome Professor Setha Stuart." Harry, who had been eying Snape, almost dropped his box of Chocolate Frogs, which he had started eating because he was so hungry. Snape turned even paler that he was usually when the young witches name was announced. What was the matter with him? He looked as if he'd just seen a ghost. And then, as Professor Stuart turned her head here and there to smile at all teachers she had not yet met, her eyes met with Snape's. He was thunderstruck it seemed to Harry, who couldn't help gloating . someone could make Snape uneasy it seemed, what a great start of the new year.  
  
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After the banquet, Harry, Ron and Hermione went strait up to the owlery to send a note to Sirius about the new professor and Snape's strange behaviour. They didn't know, what this message would trigger off. 


	3. Can it Be?

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 3 - Can it Be?  
  
Professor Severus Snape sat in his office in the dungeons of Hogwarts. The banquet was over and all students had retired to their dormitories. The teachers had been asked to attend a meeting in the teacher's room, to get to know the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Severus had pretended to be awfully busy with something and had left the meeting early.  
  
Now he sat in the dark, reflecting on the things that just happened. On the desk before him lay a photo of a young witch and a wizard. The wizard was Severus' younger self, in his last year at Hogwarts. The witch was a beautiful redhead, with emerald eyes, rather white skin and the loveliest smile in the world. She was a little smaller that the young man by her side, her head resting against his shoulder. Both were smiling happily into the camera. This had been the happiest day of Severus' life. He had just proposed to his beloved Setha. She had gotten rid of her four "best" friends and stayed at Hogwarts for the Christmas holiday, just like Severus. They had spent the whole time together, and, because they were already in their last year, they were allowed to go to Hogsmeade whenever they wanted.  
  
That particular day that had been to the pub to have a butterbeer (or two) and then they strolled around the village. Severus had planed it all, but now he was nervous and unnerved. Setha had sensed that he was preoccupied and had asked his what the matter was. Finally he had taken her hands and looked into the eyes he loved so much and with a shaky voice asked her to marry him once they had left Hogwarts. Tears had appeared in her eyes, and, unable to speak, she had just nodded and thrown her arms around him. Then this photo had been taken of them.  
  
The very photo that lay now before him and that showed Setha just as Severus had seen her at the banquet. At first he had thought that this Setha was the daughter of his Setha, but when she turned to face him, he knew instantly that this was no other woman than his first and only love Setha. He could not understand what had happened to her, how could it be that she still looked as if she had just left school? Only her eyes showed her true age. Had she finally been able to create a new Philosopher's Stone? She had been working on it ever since she had read about it in her forth year. It must be that, he thought. But now her eyes didn't show the things they used to. He was shocked when he realized that there was hatred in them, she hated him . He turned away from her stare and caught the eyes of Harry. Harry Potter, son of James and Lily, godson of his archenemy Sirius. Harry seemed to understand that something was wrong with him, yes, he seemed very pleased indeed.  
  
Could it be he knew? Sitting in the dark a thought got hold of Severus' mind. Harry and his fine friends knew everything about him and Setha. Of course, Sirius must have told them. Sirius . the old jealousy can back to him. Setha had come back for Sirius. After all these long years that were finally together. How could she? How could she do this to him? Was she just thinking of revenge? He knew he had hurt her when he broke with her, but after all, it had been her fault, not his. Her dearest friend had tried to get him killed. And now, Setha had returned to gloat.  
  
Hadn't he gone through hell and back for her? He had seen very soon that he had been mistaken about her and Sirius. But it was to late. He had turned away from the beauty of the world and became a Death-Eater, thinking that being evil would make him forget. But the more evil deeds he committed, the more he longed for her forgiveness. What he had done was irreparable; still he tried to make up for it by becoming a spy. He risked his life . always thinking of Setha's hurt expression when he had told her to leave him alone. He had broken her heart, and his.  
  
But had he? If she was back for Sirius now, wasn't there a chance that they had always been together secretly? He wouldn't be able to stand seeing them happy together. Throwing the promise he had given to Dumbledore to the wind he swore that he would do everything to destroy Sirius. He would suffer and he'd beg for his death before it came. He'd give him to Voldemort, if it was the last thing he'd ever do. His jealousy consumed him, and all he saw was darkness around him. He didn't see the ray of hope that was still there for him and Setha. He didn't know that the love they had once shared was still alive, waiting to break free once again. He had no idea what Setha went through just a few floor above him. If only he had. 


	4. What Am I Doing?

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 4 - What Am I Doing?  
  
Setha was alone at last. Dumbledore had insisted on introducing her to all teachers right after the banquet. Now everyone knew her for what she was, an auror who had come to Hogwarts to protect everyone. Only one had not been there, Professor Snape had come up with a silly excuse and left the assembly of the teachers. Everyone seemed relieved to have her at Hogwarts; they thought that an auror would sense Death-Eaters in a range of 100 miles. Of course that was not so.  
  
Now she was in the office that had only last year harboured one of the most dangerous Death-Eaters, Barty Crouch. She wondered whether she would have been able to identify him. Before Crouch, her friend Remus had been living here. She missed him and hoped he would come back to Hogwarts one day. Thinking of Remus made her think of Sirius as well. She would have to ask him to forgive her . had she not believed the tale that he had been Voldemort's right hand for years? But there was still something that stood between them that always would stand between them, the curse that still lay on Setha. When would she see him again, and what would she do?  
  
But right now there were other things she had to worry about. Down in the great hall she had seen him again, Severus Snape. Her feelings towards him had overwhelmed her when she looked into his eyes. She still loved him it was true. But she also hated him for what he had done to her. She had already taken something from him he had been eager to get forever, the post as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. And she wouldn't stop there. She would make him pay for every harsh word he had ever said to her, for leaving her, for breaking her heart.  
  
But could she? Wouldn't Dumbledore interfere at some point? He had known about their love, he had warned her that her Gryffindor friends might not approve of her choice. And he trusted Severus; surely he didn't want him to get hurt. Or would he give her a chance to get her revenge?  
  
She had planed everything. She would treat him the way she should have treated him during her time at Hogwarts. She would be a Gryffindor who saw nothing more in him than a Slytherin. For every point he took off Gryffindor she would find a reason to take 10 off Slytherin. It was not fair, and unworthy of a Hogwarts teacher, but she didn't care. Severus was no more that a Death-Eater in her eyes, a servant of Voldemort who needed to be crushed. She had never been vengeful, but seeing him again changed everything.  
  
She suddenly remembered how she had felt when she found out about him becoming a Death-Eater; she had thought she was responsible. How many squibs, mud-bloods and muggles died because of him. How often did the words Avada Kedavra come over his lips before he decided to become a spy? Yes, she would force herself to see him for what he had become, not for what he had been. And maybe she had been mistaken about his true feelings all the time? Maybe he had just used her? She had been helping him a great deal with his Transfiguration problems after all. Had this been all she's ever meant to him?  
  
This was of course not the case, and deep inside of her she knew this too. But still, this was like making up a reason for being mean to him, and it worked. She would have no bad feelings if she hurt him, and maybe her friends would assist her this time.  
  
"Oh my God, what am I doing?" she exclaimed. "What have I become? I can't have sunken so low. Getting my revenge is one thing, but using the hatred of Sirius for my purposes would be something Voldemort would do, but not me!" She began to hope that Sirius would stay away for as long as possible. With him at Hogwarts, she would not be able to enjoy her revenge for fear that Sirius might be up to something again.  
  
But all her hope was in vain. Hedwig was just about to deliver an interesting letter to Sirius, a letter that would result in his sudden interest to leave everything behind and travel to Hogwarts as fast as possible. And while Setha and Severus went to sleep at last, Sirius made ready to face his true love again. 


	5. A New Ally

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 5 - A New Ally  
  
Gryffindor 5th years woke to the worst thing imaginable ... two hours of Potion were the first thing on their timetables. But at least they would have Defence Against the Dark Arts afterwards as Ron announced excitedly while everyone was sitting in the Great Hall, making long faces at the prospect of enduring not only the remaining Slytherins but also Master Slytherin which was the new "nickname" Gryffindors had made up for Snape.  
  
Snape himself was sitting at the staff table, looking as sour as always, but as Professor Stuart swept into the hall he became grimmer than ever. Neville was about to faint when he saw this. Even though Hermione had studied a bit with him, it was only a question of minutes down in the dungeons until he'd loose his house some points.  
  
And sure enough, after five minutes into Potions, and constant questioning of Neville, who, to Snape's anger, knew all answers, Neville took a second too long to reply to yet another question. Snape apparently thought that he didn't know the correct answer and took 5 points from Gryffindor. Harry, seeing Snape's unfairness tried to protest ... 10 additional points of Gryffindor.  
  
Potions couldn't have been more miserable. Seamus, once again confusing the ingredients, blew up half of his cauldron. Unfortunately Snape was within the explosions range and lost a bit of his hair. Yet another 10 points off Gryffindor. Malfoy on the other side managed to produce his potion as the first of the class ... thanks to the help of Snape and won 10 points for Slytherin.  
  
By the end of the lesson Gryffindor had lost 50 points whereas Slytherin had won 20 ... for nothing. Ron, hardly being able to hide his anger, had to be pushed out of the dungeon by Hermione and Harry. "You know, all this has a bright side as well, we don't have to worry about Snape again until Friday", Hermione tried to calm down her friend.  
  
However the trouble wasn't over yet. Just as they wanted to enter the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, Harry, Ron and Hermione were stopped by Malfoy and his two cronies.  
  
"Well Potter, had a bit of bad luck in Potions didn't you? Too bad, 50 points lost ... in the first class on the first day of the new year. Really bad isn't it?" He turned to Crabbe and Goyle who looked as dumb as ever and giggled foolishly now. "Seems Gryffindor is not such a prestigious house anymore, if you allow squibs like Longbottom to enter it."  
  
Harry had to be held back or he would have jumped at Malfoy to throttle him. "Just tell me when and where and we shall see if Slytherin is as great as you think ... why are you still here anyway? I thought Voldemort had taken over Durmstrang, isn't your father with him anymore?"  
  
Malfoy took out his wand and shouted, "Let's make it here and now shall ..."  
  
But he couldn't finish anymore as at that very moment ... "What's going on here gentlemen?" Professor Stuart had arrived at the nick of time and snapped Malfoy's wand out of his hand. "The use of wands is forbidden between classes." Of course she had just made up this rule, but Malfoy was too shocked to protest. "Five points will be taken from Slytherin. Now, who started this ..." Malfoy started to speak but Professor Stuart held up her hand to stop him. "Miss Granger, it is Miss Granger, right?" She asked Hermione who turned purple.  
  
"Yes Professor. Well, we were just about to enter the classroom when Draco ...", she pointed at Malfoy, "... cut us off."  
  
Harry wasn't sure of it, but it seemed to him that Professor Stuart smiled slightly. "As I thought. Mister Malfoy apparently thinks that Voldemort's return allows all Slytherin's to do as they please. Well, let me assure you that you're utterly mistaken. Another 10 points from Slytherin. And I'm warning you now, Mister Malfoy. If I should find you in such trouble again, you won't be able to sleep save and sound in your dormitory ever again. And now off you go, or your next teacher will take more points of your fine house."  
  
Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle almost fled from the scene. All Gryffindors who had witnessed everything burst out laughing. At long last someone had given Malfoy just what he deserved.  
  
"Well, Ladies and Gentlemen ... be seated", Professor Stuart said with a smile and beckoned everyone inside.  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione took their usual seats at the front of the classroom. After the incident at the door everyone was looking forward to Professor Stuart's class. As always at the beginning of a new year, she started by reading out everyone's name, nodding in approval once or twice. When she reached Neville she looked up and gave him an encouraging smile. But to everyone's surprise she passed Harry without any ado. Only when she came to the end of her list, to Ron's name she looked up again.  
  
"Your father's Arthur Weasley, right?" Ron nodded. "Yes, he's doing a great job at the ministry." Ron blushed and stuttered an almost inaudible "Thanks."  
  
"Well, I have received notices from Professor Lupin and Professor Dumbledore. You studied magical creatures with Professor Lupin, right?" Everyone smiled remembering their third year and the Defence Against the Dark Arts classes back then. Some burst out laughing thinking of the boggart that had turned into Professor Snape when Neville had a go with it.  
  
"I see. And Professor Dumbledore wrote that you started on curses last year. The Unforgivable Curses, right?" Hermione nodded. "Fine, we will come back to that later this year. So, let me first introduce myself. I'm Professor Setha Stuart; I've been working as an auror for several years and have been asked by your headmaster to come to Hogwarts. And in the light of recent events this is a very good idea indeed. Now, this year this subject is going to be a rather active one. I'm here to train you up a bit. Hopefully you'll never be in this situation, but you may have to defend yourself against a Death Eater one day. I will help you there."  
  
She looked around. "I might step on a few people's feet, but I will also teach you how to make a few poisons and antidotes."  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at each other in disbelieve. This would mean that she's openly questioning Snape's qualities as Potions Master.  
  
"But at first we are going to have another look at curses, jinxes, etc. Can any of you tell me a curse to slow down or stop and attacker?"  
  
Perhaps even to his own surprise Neville raised his hand. "Petrificus totales." Hermione buried her head in her hands. She had used this spell against Neville in their first year at Hogwarts.  
  
"Ah, very good Mister Longbottom. The complete stunning spell. Of course you have to be very powerful to use this spell against a trained Death Eater, but anyway ... 5 points to Gryffindor."  
  
At the end of the class they had come up with more spells like the Jelly Leg Curse and the Leg Locker Curse. Gryffindor had won back all points it had lost in Potions plus 10 additional points. Professor Stuart made no secret of her past as a Gryffindor.  
  
"Before you leave please note that I would like you all to write two scrolls about the curses we have been discussing plus five additional ones. To be handed in on Friday. Have a nice week." Their best ever Defence Against the Dark Arts was over, and even their homework seemed to be a treat.  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione were about to leave when they where stopped by Professor Stuart. "I need a word with the three of you", she said, pointing at her office door ... 


	6. Shadows of the Past

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 6 - Shadows of the Past  
  
"Well Mr Potter, I hope you understand that I can't help you against Mr Malfoy at all times. It's not that I care about the opinion of my fellow teachers, but I have other obligations to attend to..." Setha was sitting comfortably behind her desk beaming down at Harry, Ron and Hermione. The three Gryffindors couldn't help noticing the sparkle in her eyes when she mentioned her 'fellow teachers'.  
  
"Naturally professor ... never thought you would..." was all that Harry was able to say before Hermione asked Setha the question basically everyone who had witnessed the scene was pondering on. "Professor, not that I want you to take points of Gryffindor, but why did you think that Draco was, well, that he alone was responsible for all of this?"  
  
Setha smiled wickedly before answering, "Well, I'm not as blind as you might think, Ms Granger. But I was just reminded of something from my time here. I can't tell you how many times I saw Harry's father and Lucius Malfoy having rows just like todays. And you never forget what house you were in."  
  
"You knew my father?" Harry couldn't believe his ears. "But how can that be? I mean you can't be older than..." - "Older than what, Mr Potter? You should know something by now ... especially in our world never judge a person just by his outward appearance. Let me put it this way, a very dear friend of mine tried a certain charm on me..."  
  
Ron turned from Harry to Setha. "Do you mean ... Were you at Hogwarts with Harry's parents?"  
  
"As a matter of fact I was Lily's best friend. And, to answer your question Harry, yes, I knew your father as well. We were childhood friends and came to Hogwarts together. And before you ask, I also know Sirius and Remus", and almost inaudible she added "And Peter, the bloody traitor..."  
  
"Well, then you might be happy to hear that ... well ... we sent a note to Sirius..." Hermione was shocked to see Setha turn pale suddenly. "You did what? A note to Sirius? And what on earth did this note contain?"  
  
Ron continued for Hermione who had turned a brilliant purple. "Well, we were wondering why Professor Snape reacted so strangely after seeing you. We assumed that something was between you and thought that maybe Sirius..."  
  
"Let me get this strait. You told Sirius that a certain Professor Setha Stuart has joined the staff at Hogwarts and further, that Professor Snape acts rather oddly ever since? How could you? Why couldn't you write Remus? Forget the question, because Sirius is Harry's godfather. You can't even guess what you did. This note of yours might rekindle a flame that should have been put out years ago. I believe you already know that Professor Snape and Sirius are on no good terms, but you have no idea what they are capable of." She turned to Harry. "Your father is no longer around to stop Sirius, and Remus can't hold him back. No one can!"  
  
"What are you talking about?" - "You know that Sirius tried to kill Severus I have no doubt ... but he had a reason which I'm sure you don't know. Sirius had developed feelings that no one knew anything about until it was too late. He didn't want to finish off a spying, sliming Slytherin sneak ... he wanted to KILL a rival! And unfortunately the reason for their rivalry is right now sitting in front of you."  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione sat in their seats as if they had just been struck by lightning. "You mean ... you mean that Sirius and Snape were both ... well, in love with you?" - "Brilliant thinking, Ms Granger. Yes they were."  
  
Harry, who couldn't believe that Sirius would go this far just to get rid of a rival, came to right conclusion. "But that would mean that you had chosen..." - "Yes, I had chosen Severus. But I paid dearly for this choice. And being in Gryffindor doesn't give you the ability to search people's souls."  
  
Setha got up and went to the window. Slowly she started to speak: "Still, Sirius can never do a thing as terrible as I. I was there when they arrested him. Seeing me broke him I know that now. Of all the people he knew, to realize that I believed him to be a Death Eater ... I can still see his face, nothing had prepared him for this. In one day he had lost his best friend..."  
  
"And the woman he loved", Hermione added.  
  
Setha turned, her eyes filled with tears. "Yes. I hated him for what he had done to me. And this hatred made me believe what everyone was saying. That he had betrayed James and Lily to Voldemort. Now I know he'd rather have died. All I could do was stop the Dementors from administering their kiss. But not to save Sirius ... no, I wanted to make him suffer and remember every little detail of his life, everything he had lost. But I should have known that he would have never been a Death Eater, not with Severus being one."  
  
"I could write to Sirius claiming that I was mistaken", Harry suggested.  
  
Setha smiled weakly. "He'd never believe you. But he has to stay away. Severus killed so many witches and wizards during his time as a Death Eater, before he turned spy against Voldemort. And he won't mind adding another name to his black list, especially if it's Sirius Black. And I believe that Sirius on the other hand won't care about any 'Unforgivable Curses' crap, after all, he's still a fugitive. We can only hope that Remus can hold him back, that Remus can stop him before he reaches Hogwarts. That's the only way I see."  
  
"But how can Remus stop him? I mean, Sirius must be on his way already if you're right." Hermione looked almost scared now.  
  
"Ms Granger, use your intellect. Sirius must travel up here as a dog, he can't do what Remus can ... he can't apparate into Hogsmeade. Sirius is being hunted by the Dementors still, and nothing could stop them from sucking the life out of him anymore. They are eager to kill as many good witches and wizards as possible ... still under the cloak of the Ministry. But it won't be long until they side with Voldemort openly." She looked into the three puzzled faces in front of her. "Dementors can sense what a person feels deep down inside of him. They feel if you're on Voldemort's side or not. Now, instead of torturing the few Death Eaters who are remaining in Azkaban, they are preparing their flight. Many an auror has come to this conclusion, but Fudge is still covering his eyes ... with both hands. He still denies the fact that Voldemort has indeed returned."  
  
Harry was still trying to protect his godfather. "Honestly, do you really thing that Sirius would go this far again, if he met Snape again that is? As long as Dumbledore's here..." - "Harry, you don't know Sirius as well as I do, and right now my true fear is what Severus might do. He has committed too many crimes to mind another."  
  
"But if you think that Professor Snape is dangerous, why don't you..." - "Because I can't be sure of anything currently. I don't know if either of the two still feels the way they did 20 years ago. That is why I need Remus to come here. Please leave me alone for the time being. Your friends will be wondering where you are."  
  
Harry stayed behind while Ron and Hermione left Setha's office. "Professor, do you really think that history could repeat itself here? I don't think Snape has enough of a human left in him to do a thing this passionate as killing a rival of 20 years ago." - "Let me ask you something. Do you think hatred is a human emotion? You do, right?" Harry nodded and reading her mind he said: "And Snape hates Sirius still, they loath each other. You're right, they only need a reason to finish what they started when they were at school together."  
  
Setha smiled weakly: "Yes, and that is why we need to keep them apart for as long as possible." 


	7. Lost Hope

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 7 - Lost Hope  
  
Severus Snape was walking through the corridors of Hogwarts. He had just heard of the incident between Malfoy and Potter, and was now on his way to Professor Stuart to confront her. He dreaded this, and would have loved to put it off a little longer. But it seemed that Setha had declared war, war on Slytherin. And after all he was still Head of Slytherin House.  
  
Still, every time he saw Setha it was as if someone drove a dagger into his heart. He had passed her twice in the morning, she, talking to another teacher at both times, hadn't seen him, or at least, hadn't shown any sign of it. Or had she been ignoring him?  
  
By now he was sure that she had only played with his feelings those years ago while he had been madly in love with her. And still was. He could feel it distinctly. He longed to see her, longed to hear her voice, longed to touch her. Hadn't he suffered enough already? He had become a spy, yes; he had turned against Voldemort at his height. And this he hadn't done because his bad conscience was forcing him to do so. No! He had done it because of this tiny ray of hope in his heart, hope that Setha could forgive him one day. That he could be with her once again. Now he repented the things he had done in his days as a Death Eater and through his work against the Dark Lord tried to gain at least a little forgiveness.  
  
But now, Setha had re-appeared in his life. A short moment he had thought that his dream might yet come true. No, his hope had been in vain. She never ever intended to give him any kind of chance, on the contrary.  
  
When he arrived in front of Setha's office door he heard her voice, her sweet voice, talking to someone. He couldn't understand the exact word but she seemed to be anxious about something. And then he heard the reply. It was a deep voice that answered, a voice that he had heard for the last time only two years ago ... Lupin. Setha was having a conversation with her dear old friend Remus it seemed.  
  
And suddenly he understood. Where Remus was, Sirius was to be near at hand. And Remus wasn't too happy about the reunion of the lovers of old it seemed. Or was he? But that didn't really matter to Severus. Until now he couldn't be sure. But now his suspicion had been confirmed. Yes, Sirius was around and he was with Setha. Hatred grew in Severus' heart at the mere thought of the two being together.  
  
As silent as possible he retreated to from where he had just come. He knew just what to do now. Yes, first he would get rid of Sirius, his enemy of old. And then he would make Setha suffer, yes; she would suffer before the end. Thus, thoughts crept back into his mind that he long ago had banned from it: revenge, death, murder ...  
  
Before he reached his office, there was no trace left of any hope or dream in his heart. Just the stinging love he still felt for a woman who had never seen anything in him than a bug, not even worse crushing. But in due time he would kill this feeling, yes, once he got his revenge. And as if his thoughts could travel the dark powers that were felt that another Death Eater was ripe for picking, ripe to finally succeed in a goal so many had failed before him. The Dark Mark on Severus' arm began to burn, but to him it was little more that tickling.  
  
When he was sure to be unwatched he entered the Dark Forrest and once he was out of the Hogwarts grounds he apparated to his old and new master. 


	8. Old Friends

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 8 - Old Friends  
  
Setha had just finished the last class of the day, Slytherin 5th years. Draco Malfoy had evaded her eyes as much as possible, not giving her the slightest chance to take more points of his house. Still, in the end Slytherin had lost another 10 points, because of the incompetence of Crabbe and Goyle to name so much as the results of the Jelly Leg Curse.  
  
Now she was once again in her office, waiting for a message from Remus. She had got hold of him at the nick of time. By now he should be in Hogsmeade already. And hopefully he could already convince Sirius not to come to Hogwarts.  
  
And sure enough, suddenly her fire changed its colour and became a brilliant purple. Suddenly, amidst the flames, Remus' head appeared once more. In that very moment she thought that she heard the door of her classroom open, but as no other noise came from outside, she turned to her old friend's head.  
  
"Have you been successful? Where is he now?" She almost screamed, the tension in her voice betraying her. "There is no need for you to be anxious anymore. He's retreated to the Shrieking Shack, provided that you come to see him tonight. But I really don't think that this would be wise. He might think that you're feelings towards him have changed, if you do as he asks right away. Or he might think..." and his voice trailed of.  
  
"All I want to prevent is more blood shed. I had no idea that Severus would be here, or I would have never accepted Dumbledore's offer. You believe me, don't you?" She could see that he didn't believe a word she was saying. "Alright, I knew. Yes, I wanted to make him pay, pay dearly for what he has done to me. And isn't that understandable? After all..." - "After all, he broke your heart. I know that. But why didn't you tell me that you would come back? I could have told Sirius, explained the details to him."  
  
"I didn't know that Harry would send a note to Sirius as soon as he could." She fell into her chair and rested her head on her left hand. "I was afraid of Sirius' reaction. As I ... as I was one of the Aurors to arrest him." Tears were filling her eyes. "I'll never forgive myself for it, never." - "How come no Death Eater ever found out about you being an Auror? I mean, you are the only one who can still work in secret." - "Only those who will not use it against me can remember it when they talk to someone else. It's a spell, a charm that I thought up to protect myself. And it works. For example, Draco Malfoy could never tell his father, even though he wanted to. I'm quite save when it comes to this. But," she continued with a sigh, "I'm not save from what my friends think of me. Will he ever be able to forgive me?"  
  
"He loves you. When he found out about you being back, before he rushed out of the house, he asked me the same question you just did ... will she ever forgive me?" Setha stared at Remus in shock. "Setha, he thinks he destroyed your life with this curse. And looking at you now I can't stop myself from thinking along the same lines. The wonderful and warm girl we once knew became a vengeful and cold woman." - "That wasn't Sirius' making, but my own. I hated him for cursing me; I believed that he had betrayed James and Lily. But soon afterwards I wasn't so sure of it anymore ... I forced myself to hunt down Death Eaters wherever possible and locked myself out of my heart, like everyone else. Even you," she whispered almost inaudible.  
  
"What about Severus, how do you feel about him?" - "I hate him!" Setha said with a sparkle in her eyes. "I hate him for what he did to me, to Sirius, to so many a good witch and wizard." Remus stared at her in disbelief, but she didn't see it as she once again heard a noise from the classroom. "I think someone's outside. You better leave. As for tonight, tell Sirius that I accept his condition. Could you come up to the main gate, no, wait for me at the end of the tunnel, before it makes it's way up to the Whomping Willow. I'll be with you in half an hour." Remus' head nodded in approval and disappeared. When the fire had returned to its normal colour, Setha quietly opened her office door. But the classroom was deserted; only the door of the room was open. 'Must have been Peeves again' Setha thought to herself and, taking up her cloak as she went, left the room behind her and made her way to the dark grounds around the castle.  
  
When she stood in front of the old familiar tree she looked around her. Yes, she was quite alone. And suddenly she was gone and in her place stood a black panther. The panther had become her favourite when turning into an animal, the swan only brought back sad memories. The panther now found the button in the trees truck without difficulty and stopped the beating of its branches. And within a second the great cat had disappeared entirely.  
  
Once she was on the ground level of the tunnel she transformed back to her human form and stood face to face to Remus. Tears were welling in her eyes when she threw her arms around her friend. "I've missed you," she whispered. He stroked her cheek and said in wonder, "You haven't changed a bit. My dear Setha, it's so good to see you again." He smiled at her and behind the grey hair and worn face she once again saw the boy she had known at school. "Well, I wish I could say that of you," she said with a wicked grin. Remus laughed, "Ha, ha. You really haven't changed."  
  
Slowly they followed the tunnel towards Hogsmeade, talking about Setha's work and Remus' time as Hogwarts teacher. None of the two mentioned Sirius. Remus felt the tension that once again built up in Setha. He had always loved her like a sister and now wished he could help her out of her problems. But he knew there was no way.  
  
Finally they reached the stairs that led up to the house above. Remus went in front of Setha and blocked everything from her view. So she didn't see the man that suddenly stood in front of them. But she heard him and his voice was piercing her heart. "Is she with you?" How she longed to comfort him, to love him, to give him what he desired. But she couldn't. Even though she was denying it to herself, she was still in love with another.  
  
Remus turned to Setha and gave her an encouraging nod. She smiled back weakly and said, "She is, Sirius." Remus stepped out of Setha's way and finally she faced Sirius. He looked even more worn than Remus, and still as heartbroken as on the day she had ended their engagement. 'What have I done to you?' she thought to herself, 'I'll never be able to take this back.'  
  
Sirius stared at her, his heart cramped as if someone was crushing it with an iron fist. Nothing had changed for him; she was still the only one. Slowly he moved towards her and reached out to touch her. And unable to resist, she allowed him to take her into his arms. The feeling that now came over her almost overwhelmed her. She had done unspeakable things to him, she had given him hope where there was none, and in the end she had destroyed these hopes. And she had believed him to be a traitor. Seeing her at his arrest must have been worse than death or torture.  
  
Slowly she drew away from him and he let her go, reluctantly. Before she could open her mouth he said the words that were burning in her soul as well ... "Forgive me!" Hearing this was too much for her; she broke down, almost falling to the floor if Remus hadn't catched her in time. Sirius kneeled next to her, looking worried and questioning into his friend's face.  
  
"She can't stand you asking her for forgiveness, she says, nothing you ever did can be compared to what she has done. It's breaking her heart to see you this crushed. But she knows there is nothing she can do, or she might raise new hopes which she'll never be able to fulfil." Sirius looked crestfallen. Nothing had prepared him for this. He longed for Setha; he couldn't remember a time when it hadn't been so. And to see her lying in the arms of Remus, so forlorn, so vulnerable made him love her even more.  
  
Slowly Setha came to again. When she opened her eyes she looked into Sirius'. "There is nothing I've to forgive you, on the contrary. I'll never be able to make the things undone I did to you." She raised herself, being aided by Remus. "Whatever you think the reason for my return is, you're mistaken. I only wanted to help Dumbledore..." She could feel that Remus was about to say something and stopped him with a short glance at him. "Please, don't make me choose between staying here having to fight you and leaving. Try to forget the past, try to forget about Severus."  
  
Only the mentioning of the name of his enemy made Sirius' face contort. "There is no feeling left but hatred between us. And only the thought of revenge enables me to face him. He will pay for what he's done to you, and me."  
  
In that very moment Remus realised something the other two didn't ... there was still love between Setha and Severus, it would never fade away. How else could she hate him with such passion? It grieved him that there was no chance whatsoever for his two best friend to be together. But at least he would try everything to make Setha happy. This talk of revenge had to stop. Somehow he had to make her find her heart again and see what it really felt. Somehow... 


	9. He's Gone

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 9 - He's Gone  
  
For hours and hours they talked. Setha still refused to hear Sirius apologize even though she could see the pain she was causing him clearly written in his eyes. She longed to comfort him, to give him what he wanted. Yet she knew that this would be nothing more than a lie. She loved him dearly, but in no different manner than she had James and still loved Remus. They had been her family through all the years at Hogwarts. And maybe this was the reason that she had never realized the change of Sirius' feelings towards her.  
  
Twice she accidentally mentioned Severus, and twice Sirius could hardly hold back his hatred. Instead of weakening it had grown in intensity over the years, Setha realized. And Sirius was no longer just a student of magic, he had mastered charms in a manner no one she knew ever had before. Would he use this against his rival? Now that she had returned, both men were transported back to their schooldays ... and there was no telling what they would do to each other.  
  
Remus, who had read her thoughts, tried to console her when taking her back through the tunnel to the Whomping Willow. "Sirius has learned from his mistakes, Setha. He may burn with hatred, but he won't do anything that might jeopardize your friendship again. The one you really have to worry about is Severus. Don't forget what he was..." The look upon Setha's face told him once again that her feelings for Severus were far from dead, but also that she denied their existence to herself.  
  
"Then you better keep an eye on Sirius. Don't let him anywhere near Hogwarts and nothing will happen." Neither of them believed this, but they didn't say so.  
  
They had reached the steps up to the Whomping Willow and Setha turned to Remus again. "Please, come and see me as often you can. I long to hear more of your life since we parted. And," she added with a sigh, "please watch him. I fear for him." Before Remus could make a response, Setha had transformed again. The slender form of a panther moved upwards towards the tree above. Within a second it was gone.  
  
Once outside of the beating range of the Willow Setha transformed back into her human form. The evening had gone cold and she wrapped her cloak around herself. Memories flushed her mind again. Last time she had emerged from the tree she had just found out about Sirius' feelings for her. Severus had left her standing alone in the dark, only hatred in his dark eyes. She had been petrified with terror, still imagining what could have happened had James not been there to pull Severus back. Her life was undone, all dreams for her future utterly unmade. When Sirius emerged beside her, she had slapped him and struggled to get away from him. But her feet had failed her. She had sunk to the ground, but still she wouldn't let Sirius touch her. It was James that finally carried her back to the castle. Sirius had stayed behind, looking crestfallen.  
  
'How could I do this to him? I should have seen it coming. He had behaved strangely towards me for months, why didn't I see it? And how could I blame him?'  
  
With these thoughts worrying her she made her way back to the main entrance, where, to her great surprise, she was met by Professor McGonagall. "Setha, Professor Dumbledore needs to see you, immediately!"  
  
Setha could hear a note of panic in the voice of the Deputy-Headmistress. What on earth could be so bad that it might trouble her this much? Voldemort? No, Setha would have heard of that from one of her Auror- colleagues. Sirius or Remus. No, she had just left them. But that left only...  
  
"Setha, please take a seat..." Professor Dumbledore beamed down at her while gesturing at the chair in front of his desk. "No, I'd rather remain standing, thank you." Setha looked around in the familiar room. There was the Sorting Hat, tons of ancient books, the pictures of previous headmasters on the wall. And there, yes, there was Fawkes. The phoenix caught her eye and spread his wings to glide over to her. "Hello Fawkes. Remember me?" The huge eyes of the bird showed joy, she knew she had been recognized.  
  
"I guess the Order is going to be re-instated? Yes, we are in need of you again Fawkes." Dumbledore smiled at Setha. She was almost the same she had been all those years ago when she had been a frequent visitor to his office. Then she had befriended the phoenix, which never forgot a friend he had once made. But now was not the time to dwell on memories.  
  
"Setha, he's gone!" She looked up at the Headmaster with a puzzled look. "Severus I mean, he's disappeared. No one saw him since his last class." Setha's eyes sparkled. "And what has that to do with me?" - "Do you really have to ask? Seeing you again must have taken him back twenty years ago. When I asked you to come back to Hogwarts I might have made a mistake..."  
  
At hearing this, Setha almost screamed with anger. "So do you want me to leave to console poor Severus? Professor, he's killed innocent people. He used the Unforgivable Curses a thousand times ... and still you treat him as if he's made of glass! He isn't I assure you of that! Neither is he a child who needs to be watched. I'm quite sure he'll return."  
  
"So much hatred? Still? Could it be that there is still..." - "Don't Professor! The only thing between Severus and me is hatred! I for one wouldn't trust him ... I still find it hard to believe that you gave him a position here at the school. But then, that's your business ... I'm only asking you not to meddle in mine."  
  
No one else had ever spoken to Dumbledore this way, but he didn't hold it against Setha for a second. She had always been rather impulsive when it came to her feelings, and now she was dominated by them. By feelings she did not acknowledge, did not want to see. Maybe this was also the reason for Severus' disappearance? He hoped so. But there was still a feeling of unease when he thought of the Potions Master.  
  
"I'm sorry that I troubled you. Calm down my dear. Maybe you're right and I'm too protective of those I trust. And I trust him, Setha. As I trust you and your two friends who're just hiding at the Shrieking Shack." Setha looked at him in wonder. "Yes, I know that both Remus and Sirius have returned. And I also perceive what you are going through right now. But don't fear, those years in Azkaban have changed Sirius, at least in one way for his good ... He's less impulsive."  
  
Setha smiled weakly. 'Less impulsive? He almost jumped at me when I mentioned Severus.' Aloud she said, "Well, if you think so ... Please, would you mind excusing me? As I said I don't think that anything bad has happened to Severus, after all, I disappeared as well and have found my way back. So will he, and if only to complain about my unfair treatment of the members of his fine house." She almost spat when saying 'fine'.  
  
Dumbledore smiled, "You have done nothing against our rules. Though I must say that you seem to have pleasure in taking points of Slytherin. But so does Severus when it comes to Gryffindor. I think you are equal..." In his mind he finished the sentence, 'Equal in everything.'  
  
"Very well, then I shall go now. And please, don't go through the trouble of informing me when he returns. I couldn't care less..." With that she turned abruptly, so abruptly that she almost knocked Fawkes off her shoulder. The phoenix flew up with a loud scream of disapproval. Setha took no notice and without any backward look she swept from the room.  
  
While walking back to her office she told herself again and again that she did not care what Severus was doing. But a voice inside her head kept asking, 'Do you really?' But she still found a way to ignore that voice ... 


	10. The Quidditch Match

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 10 - The Quidditch Match  
  
The next few weeks passed without any special happenings. Snape had re- appeared and was as foul as ever. The only thing that could cheer up the Gryffindor 5th years was Defence Against the Dark Arts. Professor Stuart's classes where as good as those of Professor Lupin. They had a lot of fun jinxing each other, Neville lost count of how often he fell because someone either stunned him or put the Jelly-Leg-Curse on him. Professor Stuart seemed to enjoy herself greatly; only three of the Gryffindors knew that she was in fact under a lot of strain.  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione had visited the Shrieking Shack as early as possible and had seen how upset Sirius was. Remus tried to control him, but sooner or later he would loose the battle. Ron's only comment was, "Well, Snape really would deserve to be roasted, and very slowly too." Harry was worried that his godfather would do something that could be held against him. Only Hermione saw the situation as it really was, two people fighting against their emotions and a third half-dying with anger, half with hopeless love.  
  
On one occasion she had stayed behind, on the pretext of needing to ask Remus something about werewolves. Harry and Ron only raised their eyebrows and shook their heads. "Women," Ron muttered as he climbed down the stairs.  
  
"What is it, Hermione? It can't be the thing you mentioned as I know no one who knows as much of my kind as you," Remus smiled as he walked Hermione back to one of the rooms. Sirius had sneaked out into Hogsmeade to get something to eat. "Well, Setha ... I mean Professor Stuart..." and everything burst out of her. Remus only nodded slightly. So he wasn't the only one who perceived the truth after all. Of course Dumbledore would know as well, but here was yet another.  
  
When Hermione had finished he said, "You noticed it too then? I bet Harry and Ron wouldn't share your view of the situation? I can see you don't. Unfortunately neither would either of the two. Setha is too hurt to see the truth, and Severus ... I guess he feels too much at fault to even hope. Until they both acknowledge what is going on, there's nothing we can do I'm afraid. Believe me I've tried to talk to her. She blocks everything ... only mention his name and she changes the topic."  
  
"This must be very hard on Sirius, too." Remus' face contorted with pain. "He's suffering, probably more than the two do. I wish I could help him, this love is eating him alive. I've seen it before, when we were students here, but I never thought that he loved Setha. Another girl, yes, but her? She was like our sister. Not for him. And that she should choose Severus, of all the other students! That was too much for him, still is. He hates him with all his might." He sighed, "Let us hope that he values his friendship with Setha more than the revenge he might seek."  
  
Hermione had not mentioned this conversation to anyone. But every time she saw Setha she longed to slap her to make her see her real feelings.  
  
The first important thing that happened was the start of the Quidditch season. It was an open secret that they owed the new Quidditch season to Professor Stuart. Dumbledore first had wanted to cancel all games, but Setha evidently wanted to see Harry up in the air. 'He's almost as good as James was,' Sirius had told her. And so she had talked to the Headmaster as often as she could, finally boring him so much that he consented. Of course only under the condition that she would attend all practice sessions of at least two houses ... Gryffindor and Ravenclaw ... and that she would also be present at all games.  
  
The Gryffindor team had lost a brilliant captain when Oliver Wood left a year ago. Now they not only needed to find a replacement for him in that respect, but they also lacked a Keeper. Of course everyone expected Harry to take over the captains role, but he made it clear in no uncertain terms that he had no wish to replace Wood. Soon afterwards it was announced that Angelina Johnson, a chaser, would be the new captain. One could hear a loud moaning coming from Ron's brothers Fred and George who were the two Beaters of the House Team.  
  
But still there was no sign of a new Keeper. Angelina searched far and wide, always trying to get another girl into the team, but always failing utterly. Some simply could not fly fast enough, others rather avoided the Quaffle than try to catch it. The team was becoming desperate until Harry had the saving idea. Who had always shown quite a talent for flying, yet was unable to really do as good as he could because he could not afford a good broomstick? Who had nagged Harry to let him have a ride on his Firebolt almost all summer? RON! Ronald Weasley. When Fred and George heard, they almost chocked with laughter, Ron himself was too overwhelmed to say as much as 'Thank you'.  
  
So at long last practice could begin. Fred and George got into the habit of sending Bludgers in Ron's direction to show that their brother was a joke. Unfortunately they where wrong about this and Ron won the respect of the whole of Gryffindor for avoiding two Bludgers and almost knocking off George with the Quaffle in return. For days people came to the poor Beater offering to glue him to his broom or putting a hex on him to make him stay up in the air. But at least the twins had finally understood that Ron was in fact a good flyer and stopped trying to injure him on purpose.  
  
Setha was always sitting in the stadium, wondering at Harry who really resembled his father. He caught the Snitch in no time at all, was as fast as could be and seemed to have his eyes everywhere. No Bludger ever came too close to him, he never got in anyone's way. She really looked forward to the first real game, Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. Snape had agreed to watch the Slytherin practice and Setha feared that he might not just attend but give his house team some "useful" advice.  
  
The day of the match dawned, no cloud was to be seen and it was still quite warm. The Gryffindor common room was swarming with students, patting the shoulders of their team or, like the Creevey brothers, annoyed the players by asking stupid questions and taking photos wherever they went. Harry soon was so fed up with all of this that he went down to the stadium early. To his surprise, half the ranks were already crowded with students and it took a while until he saw the two people he had searched for, well, one person and a dog. 'So they have come', he thought relieved.  
  
He could still remember the first time he had seen Sirius at a match. Back then he had been knocked off his broom, his beloved Nimbus 2000 that unfortunately crashed into the Whomping Willow. But Sirius had replaced it but the most wonderful Christmas present Harry had ever received, well, apart form the Invisibility Cloak that had once belonged to his father. Sirius had given him a Firebolt. The broom had saved him his life last year, as he had to get passed a dragon during the Triwizard Cup.  
  
But there were more important things than these memories he had to worry about. The match would start soon and he still had to change. Angelina gave the usual pre-match speech, which no one ever listened too. Well, no one apart from Ron who was so nervous that he had to concentrate on something other than his fear to fall of this broom.  
  
Soon they were up in the air; the game was as unfair as ever. The Slytherin beaters apparently had been instructed to go for Ron in the first place. But thanks to Fred and George, he was now prepared for this and could avoid every Bludger. Harry was high above the stadium, Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Seeker, trailing him as usual. Suddenly he dived and Draco followed suit. Yes, there it was, the Golden Snitch just a little bit further and he would hold it in his hand, once again. But just as he was about to close his hand around it ... Madame Hooch's whistle was heard - time out.  
  
Harry cursed, the Snitch was gone again. "What's going on? I almost had it!" He actually screamed these words at Angelina who only pointed up. Professor Stuart was on a broomstick flying around and suddenly something shot out of her wand and something small and golden exploded. "Has she gone crazy? She just burst the Snitch into pieces." Ron was beside himself with fury.  
  
Professor Dumbledore had joined the two teams on the green, followed by Professors McGonagall and Snape. "Madame Hooch, what's the meaning of this?" But the referee couldn't answer anymore as Professor Stuart just landed next to the Headmaster. "A port-key! Someone has turned the Snitch into a damn port-key!" Harry could see Dumbledore's face turn white. "The game is over! Setha, would you please follow me? You," he turned to the teams, "go and change back into your robes."  
  
"But what about the game?" Ron almost choked when Dumbledore turned to look at him. "The game is over, Mr Weasley!" With these words Dumbledore turned around and went to the castle. Setha looked from Harry to Ron and said finally, "Don't worry, there will be a replay of the whole match. But I don't want to keep from you that this was aimed at you Harry. And there also is no doubt about where this port-key would have taken you." 


	11. Suspicion

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 11 - Suspicion  
  
"A port-key you say, but how did you know?" Professor Dumbledore stared at Setha. They had retired to the headmaster's office, joined by Professors Snape and McGonagall, the latter standing next to Dumbledore. She also looked at Setha in puzzlement and shock. "Surely Aurors can't detect port- keys all of a sudden," she said. Setha sighed, "But foul play professor, and that is what I felt, from the moment on I came to the Quidditch pit. An evil air that had its centre in the Snitch. I had to stop the match to make sure, to find out what was wrong. Only when I was flying close to it did I see it for what it was. The one who put the charm on the Snitch must have been in a hurry. He left a mark on it, so at once I knew it was a port-key. And we don't need to think hard to assume where it would have taken the one who touched it..."  
  
None of the others noticed her gaze gliding over to Severus who stood in a corner, apparently very interested in the pattern of the office floor. He didn't even look up when she continued, "But don't worry, from now on I'll be checking all the balls and brooms before every training and match." Why wasn't he commenting on what she had just said, or on what had happened? After all, it had been her who had got Dumbledore to allow the Quidditch Cup. Surely there was enough to complain about. Why wasn't he doing it?  
  
Dumbledore shook is head, "No Setha, there will be no more Quidditch at Hogwarts until the culprit is caught. I cannot answer for the danger this would mean for the players." All four knew that he was in fact referring to a very special player, the Seeker of Gryffindor. But Setha was not to be silenced this easy, "Professor, not even a Death Eater would try the same thing twice. He'd be mad if he did. Please, think of the students. They are frightened enough, hearing all the news of Voldemort's return and such. My presence here doesn't make things easier for them either. Give them at least some kind of normality. They already had a year without the inter- house Quidditch Cup. And if something should happen again, I will take responsibility for it. After all, I am the one who asked you to allow Quidditch in the first place."  
  
"But Professor Dumbledore's the headmaster, not you," Professor McGonagall stated. "Thank you, Minerva. But I think Setha knows this..." Dumbledore smiled at Setha, reading in her eyes. "Would you mind excusing us? Minerva, Severus?" Setha could see Snape swallow hard, but he nodded and swept out of the room. Professor McGonagall looked from one the headmaster's face to Setha's. "Very well, if you need me, I'll explain everything as good as I can to the Quidditch players of my house."  
  
With the two others gone, Dumbledore now asked directly what he had wanted to since Setha had landed next to him on the Quidditch field. "You have a suspicion, don't you?" Setha was walking about the office, finally stopping in front of the phoenix, caressing his beak. When she turned to face the headmaster her face was a mask of fear and agony. "Of course I do, but I'm afraid that you won't believe me. I myself can hardly believe it." Her voice was heavy with emotions. Fawkes had flown up to her shoulder, now leaning his head against her cheek, trying to comfort her.  
  
Dumbledore pursued his question. "Whom do you suspect, Setha? I need to know that!" What he saw in Setha's eyes hit him and shook him to his core. "You can't mean, you can't be serious..." Setha looked away, sighing. "I told you, you would not believe me. But I saw him coming out of Madame Hooch's tent, and she was not there. So he was alone with the balls, he had the chance..." She felt her heart cramp, only one question spinning in her head, 'Am I responsible for this?'  
  
"But he's not a Death Eater anymore, he's on our side. He's been for a long time, I trust him!" Dumbledore was reaching out a hand towards her. "You can't really think it was him. Doesn't your heart tell you that this can't be?" Setha's voice was almost inaudible when she replied, "My heart has brought me this far, I cannot trust it any longer."  
  
Dumbledore had never seen her this desperate. So she was still struggling against her feeling, trying to convince herself that she hated the one she really loved. It took so much of her strength away from her. But now she thought him not only a traitor of their feelings, but an enemy. He'd have never re-joined Voldemort, never. Not with her around... Not with her around? Maybe her presence had caused something to crack inside of him, maybe... "Setha, if you're right you must know that this is not really him. He's desperate, hiding his feelings for you..." She cut him short, "What feelings? You mean he wants to destroy me completely? He's the one responsible for my current state! Stop thinking of him as someone who's to be pitied! He deserves no kindness, no understanding. And if I'm right the only thing he truly deserves is death!"  
  
"You can't mean that. Setha, did you hear what you just said? It would destroy you if you would kill him. Would destroy all that is good and kind and gentle in you. I see that it was a mistake to call you back to Hogwarts, but only because it brings all this hurt and pain to you."  
  
Setha sighed, "So would you rather have me close my eyes to the things that I see clearly before me? I can't do that; no matter how much grief it brings to you, or me for that matter. Do you think I took pleasure in arresting Sirius? No. It tormented me for years. But I still did it, to save others. Only because you trust someone, Professor, I can't turn a blind eye. Your affections don't make a good person out of everyone..." her voice trailed off, heavy with emotions, emotions she didn't even know she had.  
  
She was right, Dumbledore knew that. But he was as well. It would break her. Her fragile soul would be utterly destroyed. "Find me evidence, evidence that even I can't ignore." His eyes were fixed on her, almost burning her. She only nodded silently. She felt his words echoed by a voice inside of her. Her mind in confusion, still unable and unwilling to accept the truth of the headmaster's words. Slowly she turned her head to Fawkes, who was still sitting on her shoulder. "See you my friend." The phoenix spread his wings and flew over to his master. "Professor, you shall get your evidence, your proof that what I say is right." With that she turned and walked out of the office, forcing herself to ignore the cry of her heart, 'It can't be true...' 


	12. Meetings

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost - and Refound?  
  
Chapter 12 - Meetings  
  
Harry was pacing the floor in front of the gargoyle that bared the entrance to the headmaster's office. He had seen Professors McGonagall and Snape emerge a few minutes ago. So Setha was alone with Dumbledore now. He needed to talk to her, needed to find out more about the port-key business.  
  
He heard heavy footsteps behind him and turned around, wand at the ready. Draco Malfoy and his two cronies came striding towards him, that is Draco was striding, Crabbe and Goyle where having a hard time trying to be as quiet as possible.  
  
Draco shook his head, "Look whom we have here. Potter, shouldn't you be hiding somewhere. You've just escaped the Dark Lord ... narrowly I might add." He snickered, obviously enjoying himself. "Sod off, Malfoy," Harry's eyes were flaring at his archenemy. "Language Potter!" Crabbe and Goyle chuckled stupidly while Draco shot a menacing look at Harry.  
  
Suddenly the gargoyle sprang to life and Setha almost collided with the young Gryffindor. "Potter! Malfoy! What's the meaning of this?" And with an evil smile she added. "Mr Malfoy, 10 points will be taken from your house ... you heard the headmaster didn't you? You are supposed to be in your dormitory!" Draco just pointed at Harry, speechless. "Yes, I asked Mr Potter to meet me here once my meeting with Professor Dumbledore was over." Draco knew that this was a lie, but there was nothing he could do if he didn't want to loose more points.  
  
Cursing he turned on his heels and growled at Crabbe and Goyle, "Let's go."  
  
Setha smiled warmly when she turned to Harry, "I know why you're here. Harry, I wish I could tell you that it was just a coincidence, but you'd know I was lying. It's clear that this was aimed at you. I could curse myself for not realizing it before." - "Professor, it's not your fault that Voldemort wants to see me dead." Setha sighed, "But I should have realized the presence of a Death Eater around me. I did, but then I thought it was your friend's," she turned her head into the direction Malfoy had turned to, "you dearest friend's father."  
  
"You think it wasn't Mr Malfoy?" Setha shook her head, "No Harry, I wish it were this simple. But Lucius, ehm, Mr Malfoy had no chance to hex the Snitch. And I can feel an evil force around me, and no matter what Draco says about his father, he isn't that strong. And there's something else, grief and hurt." Harry looked at his professor, his eyes suddenly gleaming, "You have a suspicion, don't you?" Setha smiled to herself, he was so much like James. "I do indeed, but I can't speak about it as yet."  
  
Setha sighed deeply and motioned Harry towards the staircase that led up to the Gryffindor common room. "You better go to your friends, Harry. Oh, and you may tell Mr Weasley that the match will be rescheduled. And another thing ... I'm not out of my mind, would you tell him that as well?" More seriously she continued, "Watch yourself Harry, as long as the culprit isn't caught your life is in grave danger, but that of course is nothing new to you. Oh Harry, I wish it was, I wish it was."  
  
Then she did something unexpected. She leaned over and kissed Harry's forehead. "Go now, and if ever you need help, you know were you can find me. Your parents once asked me to be your Godmother, but I refused. Still, I would feel honoured if you would see something like that in me." Harry was startled; she had been supposed to be his Godmother? "But why..." - "Why didn't I accept? Well, I'm not sure that Sirius would have been too happy about it at that time. And then, there was the curse, and I wasn't sure how I would react if I saw Sirius again." She smiled wickedly, "I might have tried a few curses I had just come up with on him."  
  
---  
  
Harry had left her and Setha turned towards her own office. She wasn't surprised to find it occupied by someone, still, she hadn't expected him to sit there as calm as he did. "I was wondering if you'd come to see me." Lucius Malfoy stood and closed the space between them. "Why? Why did you do it? Because Draco was about to catch..." Setha burst into laughter much to Lucius' annoyance. "Draco catch the Snitch? Lucius, have you been asleep during the match? Harry was about to catch the Snitch, not your beloved son."  
  
Lucius growled at her but remained silent. "And why did I do it? Because the Snitch was nothing less than a port-key. And now you may guess where it would have taken Harry. Let me ask you Lucius, where were you before the match started?" She passed the blond wizard before her and sat down behind her desk. "Why should I tell you?" Setha smiled innocently, "Oh, because even though your dearest Lord has risen again there is still a bit of law and order in the wizarding world. And believe me, every Auror would just love to catch you red-handed. But don't worry, I don't think that it was you..."  
  
"Well I'm so glad," the fabled Malfoy arrogance was clearly audible, "I wouldn't want you to think bad of me." - "Who said I don't? If I remember correctly, it was you who let something slip in front of Sirius. And believe me, I shan't forget that." Lucius glared at her, "Your so called romance with Severus had gone on for too long already. I could not allow a Gryffindor to take advantage of the foolishness of a Slytherin..." Setha snapped, "So you would have rather seen your Slytherin friend dead than with me. Interesting."  
  
"He was making a fool of himself over you. Did you really believe that I would remain silent once I had found out?" Setha's eyes flashed with anger, "He was your friend! I never expected you to approve of his decision, but at least you could have tried to respect it. What is that with you Malfoys, always meddling in things that are none of your business? Your son's no better than you, but I might be able to change that yet." An evil grin formed on Setha's features.  
  
"Yes, I meant to talk to you about this as well. If you take another point off Slytherin..." Setha interrupted him, "Who are you to threaten me? You're not a school governor anymore, and by the way, the Headmaster approves of my actions..." - "Dumbledore's a fool, and he sees something like a daughter in you. He always favoured you." Setha stood abruptly, almost knocking her desk over. "Don't you dare speak of Albus Dumbledore this way in front of me. You might find yourself in deep trouble if you do so. Don't underestimate me. That was always your big mistake, underestimating people. Another nice treat you passed on to your son."  
  
Setha's eyes sparkled and shot arrows at Lucius. He retorted in a cold voice, "You have been warned. It won't be long until Hogwarts will be no more than a memory. Voldemort is back, and he will know how to deal with the likes of you." Setha pointed at her office door silently. "We shall meet again, Setha. We shall meet again." Robes waving behind him, he went over to the door and swept out of the office.  
  
Setha fell back into her chair. No matter what Lucius had said, it hadn't been him. No, it had been someone else, why wouldn't Dumbledore see it? She sighed deeply, 'What if he took this way because of you? What if he indeed cares about you still?' She brushed the thought aside. No, she would not be the one to be blamed. He had chosen this path years ago, and back then she had tried everything to stop him, or had she?  
  
'I will find the evidence you asked for, Headmaster. And much more. And if it's the last thing I'll ever do.' She closed her eyes and leaned back, this would take all her strength and cunning. But she would succeed and finally she would be able to rid herself from the shadow that lay upon her. 


	13. A New Move

Disclaimer: All characters, with exception of Setha Stuart, are not my invention but J.K. Rowling's. I'm not writing to make any profit but for writing's sake, and because I love the HP books.  
  
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A Love Lost and Refound?  
  
Chapter 13 - A New Move  
  
When the picture of the Fat Lady swung shut behind Harry, the young Gryffindor found himself unable to move. A crowd had immediately formed around him, all eyes turned into his direction. Soon the air was filled with questions like, "Are you alright Harry?" or, "What in Merlin's name happened?" But those standing closest to him, all members of the Quidditch team in fact, almost screamed, "What of the game?" Harry chuckled. No matter what terrible things might happen, Quidditch was still most important.  
  
"It'll be rescheduled and played anew. Professor Stuart has assured me of that." The screams and cries of the team were interrupted by Hermione's grave voice, "How can Dumbledore allow this? Harry, you were in great danger today, what makes you think that such a thing won't happen again?" The heads of all players snapped in her directions. And Harry was sure if looks could kill, his friend would no longer be standing there.  
  
"Oh come off it, Hermione. Professor Stuart saved the day, hasn't she? She'll do so again if the need should arise. Don't forget she's an Auror for crying out loud." Hermione glared at her friend and replied with an icy voice, "She barely managed today. Maybe next time she won't be around. What then? Are you prepared to take the risk that You-Know-Who lays hands on Harry again?"  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "Hermione, really. Ron's right. No one would be so stupid to try to attack me again during a Quidditch play. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time I'd have to defend myself against Voldemort." Ron winced as always when someone mentioned the Dark Lord's name. "And now would you please excuse me. I have a potions homework to finish..." And Snape wouldn't take excuses like, 'Sorry, couldn't do my homework because I was a bit shocked that Voldemort tried to get a hold of me again.'  
  
So he forced his way through the assembled Gryffindors and finally found himself in his dormitory. He couldn't believe what had happened. And even more confusing was what Professor Stuart had told him. His parents had wanted her to be his godmother. And she had declined because of Sirius. Somehow he felt that he couldn't take any more revelations of that kind. It still made him feel sick when he thought of Professor Stuart preferring to be with Snape than with Sirius.  
  
With a sigh he started on his Potions assignment. Snape was out of his bloody mind it seemed. If this was normal homework, than what would he cook up for the O.W.L.S?  
  
---  
  
The shock about the Quidditch match soon gave way to anticipation as the Christmas holidays were drawing near. The match between Gryffindor and Slytherin had been replayed, Gryffindor had won narrowly, and nothing had happened. Maybe the Death Eater had come to terms with his defeat, or, as Hermione kept pointing out every time they were talking about the topic, he was just biding his time to try again.  
  
Potions had turned from nightmare into hell. Just yesterday Snape had asked his students to write a five-scroll-essay on some stupid potion, which wasn't even worth the bother of two scrolls. It was clear that he would help the students of his own house, but the Gryffindors were at total loss. But then, maybe it was only fair, as Professor Stuart was not too kind to the Slytherins either. Hermione was always muttering about it being unworthy of teachers to do such things, but she never objected when Setha granted Gryffindor another ten points for one of her answers.  
  
In general, things were more or less down to normal again. Until the day Harry received that owl from Sirius. His note had been short, but then, why should he write scrolls if he just wanted to see him. The only thing that worried him, was the fact that Sirius asked him to come after nightfall and alone. But the fact that he was due in the dungeons for another double Potions kept him from pondering on that.  
  
And so Harry faked to be tired after dinner and retired to his dormitory. He quickly retrieved his father's invisibility cloak and managed to get out of the common room after just a few minutes when Colin Creevey went out to go to the library.  
  
Slowly he went down to the entrance hall and left the castle in the direction of the Whomping Willow. When he was in the tunnel that led to the Shrieking Shack he disposed of the cloak and got his wand out to illuminate his way.  
  
Still, he nearly bumped into something, no someone. A huge black dog had almost run him over, and now he looked into the surprised face of his Godfather. "Harry, what are you doing here?" Harry was no less astonished than Sirius. "Ehm, I'm on my way to see you as you asked me to in your message..." The animagus interrupted, "What message?"  
  
Harry was startled, "Well, the message you sent me this morning." Sirius shook his head, "I didn't sent you any message. Do you have it with you?" The young Gryffindor nodded and handed the small piece of parchment over. "Looks like my hand ... I think we better show it to Setha." Sirius grabbed his Godson's hand and dragged him back towards Hogwarts.  
  
---  
  
"Setha, this is no longer something you can just brush aside." Sirius stood in the centre of Setha's office, Harry sitting in a chair in front of her desk. "I didn't send that note, yet even I could not tell that it's not my handwriting." Setha stared at the note, unable to believe what she had just heard. Maybe she had underestimated that Death Eater after all.  
  
"Harry, next time you receive such a message... Never leave the castle after nightfall again, and least of all alone." Her voice was unsteady, and her gaze fixed on Sirius. "If it hadn't been for you... And it would all be my fault." She sighed deeply. "Would you mind excusing us for a second, you can wait for Sirius in the classroom." Harry nodded and stood. "Sorry," he whispered, "I think I just didn't want to see that it was kind of strange of you to ask me to come alone and all..."  
  
When the door had closed behind Harry, Sirius let out the anger he had felt ever since he had ran into Harry. "It's your duty to secure that such a thing doesn't happen around here. And what are you doing instead? Keeping up a running battle with your beloved Slytherin sneak." Setha tried to interrupt but was stopped by Sirius raised hand. "If something should happen to Harry, and you could have prevented it, I swear I'll..." The look on Setha's face defeated him. She seemed like a child, lost in the woods.  
  
"I wish I would have seen this. But I'm not in a position to ask Harry to let me read all of his letters, am I? Still, after this I don't think you'll have to worry anymore. Dumbledore will most likely sack me and lock up Harry somewhere safe." She looked straight into her friend's eyes, "That is, if you tell him. I swear by everything I treasure that I will never let anything like this happen again."  
  
"And how can you do that if you don't know who the one behind this is..." Comprehension dawned upon him, "Wait a second, you have a suspicion don't you? Who? Malfoy? Or no, it's Snape isn't it? I'll kill him if he ever tries..."  
  
"We can't be sure yet. Sirius, don't do anything you might regret later on." As she said that, her eyes once again dropped to the note before her. Yes, it seemed to be Sirius writing, if it wasn't for those prominent curves of the letters. She had only seen these in the writing of one other. And her heart cramped as she thought of it... 


End file.
